Albion daily
by TheIckleBoots
Summary: Welcome to your new subscription to Albion Daily! This is a must-have guide to Albion including exclusive updates on the rebellion, an interactive agony aunt and road safety! Read about Albion today in Albion Daily!
1. Editor's note

**_ALBION DAILY_**

 **PROLOGUE**

 _Hello new reader!_

 _This is Bradley Bradley and my wife, Betty Breadly Bradley here, founders and managers of the Albion Daily! This newspaper was founded at the beginning of Albion's industrial revolution to cover our mighty country's process for futuristic inventions, as well as keeping the people updated on what's going on in Albion._

 _Over the years we have grown, now also covering weather, road safety, job offers and all the information. We even have an agony aunt to consolidate you in your woes, and offer helpful and supportive advice!_

 _As well as that we have a special page dedicated to the exploits of the new rebel hero who IS IN NO WAY WHATSOEVER LEGAL and if you see him YOU NEED TO ALERT THE TOWN GUARDS. This applies for all the criminals on our brand new exclusive wanted list!_

 _I hope you enjoy your Albion Daily, and just remember there is no excuse to not pay, or mercenaries might COINCIDENTALLY find you and COINCIDENTALLY kill you if you COINCIDENTALLY don't have the money COINCIDENTALLY owed to us!_

 _From Bradley and Betty Bradley_


	2. Laws and taxes

**CURRENT LAWS AND PRECAUTIONS**

 _We at the Albion Daily care deepy about our valued readers, and therefore bring you the full list of laws, updated once a week!_

• **JOB REGULATIONS AND TAX**

 _Due to the plent supply of payed labour in Albion, if you have no job for more then one week it is considered as lethargy, therefore stripping you of the right to retain excess money. If you own a shop you are required to pay the crown one tenth of your weekly earnings in addition to tax, and if you own a business you are required to pay one eighth of your profit in addition to tax to the crown. If you're in the upper-class, you need to also pay the aristocracy tax as well as the normal tax. Membership of the royal court also requires the court tax. If you have a complaint, take it up with the head of industry, Reaver. For tax you must pay one quarter of your earnings, with no exceptions. Elderly are required to be sent to a care home. (Don't expect any visits)_

 _•_ **HOUSING AND ESTATE**

 _It is required to have a license to earn real estate, which you can apply for at any general merchant who has been in that position for more then two years. When paying rent pur the money in the small red envelopes your landlord/lady is required to hand out, and give it to your landlord/lady. Building a house requires a sum of 500 gold to the crown, within two days of applying. Refurbishment is entirely dependent on the landlord/lady. Staying in an Inn or hotel/or other temporary lodging for more then five months is unacceptable with no extenuating circumstances. Purchasing furniture does not require additional taxation._

 _•_ **RESPECT OF INVESTIGATION AND LAW ENFORCEMENT**

 _It is of utmost importance that you, as a dutiful citizen of Albion, report any unusual activity, or a place were you have witnessed rebel activity. Failing to report is high treason, and you will be found out. Law enforcers are to be respected and there orders are to be followed without delay or complaint. Questions are to be answered in full detail, and truthfully. This is for the safety of all of Albion, and your King._

 _•_ **THE WRITING OF BOOKS, PLAYS AND NOVELS**

 _All books, plays andnovels are required to contain no rebels who are portrayed as protagonists, or royals/law enforcement presented as antagonists. This is treason and disrespect of the crown. You must have a license for creating reading material, and a license for public reading material. As well as that, all books, novels and plays must be read by a law enforcer before and after publication to ensure you are abiding these laws. Your license must be presented to the law enforcer too._

 _•_ **PENALTIES FOR TREASON, THEFT AND OTHER CRIMES**

 **~ High treason:**

 _Public humiliation then death - undresses to underclothes, shot in front of a crowd after rigorous torture and interrogation_

 **Murder:**

 _Public hanging from the top window of your residence._

 **Theft:**

 _Publicly having your right or left hand cut off with a blunt axe._

 **Rebel activity:**

 _Publicly hanged, drawn and quartered._

 **Forgery/Unlicensed activity:**

 _The removal of all property owned by antagonist, given to the crown._


	3. Agony Aunt

**AGONY AUNT**

 _Our lovely agony aunt, Brunhilda of Ytastustedturbergurstirn, will be giving you, our lovely readers, her personal advice and tips on your conundrums._

{Now the interactive part! For now it's all AI, but send your questions and problems through PM and review!}

 _Dear Brunhilda,_

 _My children refuse to give me what they earn from working at the factory. I feed them, clothe them and got them jobs in the first place! What do I do?_

 _From James Dodger_

 **Dear James Dodger,**

 **Your children are whiny little brats. If they want to be independent throw them into the bloody streets and quit moaning about it. That's** **what we do in Ytastustedturbergurstirn, and look how well I have turned out.**

 _Dear Brunhilda,_

 _My children all have chickenpox and can't work, and I can't afford to buy a healing potion let alone four. What do I do?_

 _Britney Pikes_

 **Dear Britney Pikes,**

 **I'm an agony aunt not a doctor or financial advisor. However, in my country we had to make our own healing potions, and we mixed chicken droppings, soil from the grave of a hero and goat's milk. Mix these ingredients in a glass bottle, and leave it out on the night of a full moon. That moon is the moon of the hunt, and the moon of restoration. Make your children drink it and they will heal by the next full moon, without fail and often the very next day. It is not witchcraft it is alchemy.**


	4. Road Safety

**ROAD SAFETY**

 _The clue's in the name!_

In Mistpeak valley there's been a dramatic increase of wolves and mercenaries, with a 75% chance you'll encounter a pack of wolves and a 58% chance you'll be ambushed by 3 to 10 mercenaries in your journey. In contrast balverines have seemingly disappeared with only one sighting this month and not attacks. The sighting was near the main factory in Bowerstone Industrial district, with a worker returning from a morning to midnight shift reportedly spotting a silvery-white balverine before it leapt to the rooftops. Hobbes have remained in their caves due to a spell of strong sunlight which effectively burns the creatures, and Mourningwood remains a place in which hollowmem swarm. They seem to be staying in Mourningwood for now, with a 98% chance you will encounter them if you enter the area. Balverines have apparently been swarming Silverpines, claiming the pinewood as there own and consuming or converting the locals. There is a 100% chance you will encounter a pack of balverines if you're brave (stupid) enough to enter the area.


	5. Rebel Activity

_**UPDATES ON REBEL ACTIVITY**_

 _Disclaimer: All of this is learnt from legal sources, including witness accounts, guard reports and brilliant journalism. Rebels are all wanted persona for a series of crimes that include high treason and rebellious activity. They are a danger to society and Albion, and if you sight any rebel activity you must immediately report it to your local squadron of guards. This is for you and your settlement's safety._

The rebels are thought to have an establishment in Bowerstone Industrial, so all eyes and ears out or they shall be removed for neglecting citizen duties.

On a lighter note the public execution of traitor and rebel, EX-Major Swift, will be tomorrow! Tea and sponge fingers along with pre-packed picnics will be supplied to the snitc-citizens responsible for the discovery of his treachery and over loyal subjects.

Our up-and-close interviewer popped over to the homeless shelter to see if the disgraced Lady Elise was around! We found her with her new...romantic partner. They both gave Breadley jr the finger and told him to leave when he asked about the lost prince!

Breadly jr then went to Bowerstone Industrial to attempt to secure a visit to Reaver himself! We haven't heard of him since!


End file.
